Southern Adventist UniversityFreshman Blogs

Macayla—8D 8D 8D 8D 8D!!!

It is DONE. Accomplished. Over. Completed. =D =D =D =D

I finished those bible studies and actually got really in to writing them. And accompanying for the two pedagogy student’s students went well. (Ps. All of this is by the grace of God. No doubt! I can take no credit.) Last Friday, we had our last choir rehearsal. There’s a tradition in choir—bow tie Friday. A lot of the guys dress up and wear bow ties. It’s really quite adorable. x) For the last Friday of the year, the guys extended a warm invitation to the girls to wear bows in their hair. (Or to make their hair into a bow.) Afterward, we had a grand photo shoot outside of the church. Good times. :)  

Macayla—The Penultimate Blog

            School is wrapping up so quickly and yet everything seems to be coming full force. The main thing I’m working on right now is getting ready for juries (which, just a forewarning, unless I get an extension for my blog, you’ll never get to hear about Loops….if you’re an aspiring music major and have any questions about it, you have my email! macaylar@southern.edu) Getting ready for a jury is super stressful (for me. Especially since it’s my first one.) I feel like I should be singing all the time to make sure I have everything right. Of course, though, there are two problems with that. 1. I don’t have time to practice that much. As it is, I’m probably not even going to make 6 hours this week. (But, that’s to be expected with extra choir practices and singing engagements over the weekend.) 2. If I sing too much or too strenuously, I could mess up my voice. That would be bad….(on the plus side, I had a really productive practice this morning.)

            Aside from just singing, I have to make sure I learn how to pronounce all my French and Italian correctly. No pressure.

            Also, I have to learn a lot of trivia about each song, the translation, the composer, the time period etc. etc. just in case they ask me about it.

            But, on top of all that I still have to prepare for woodwind tests, an aural theory exam, write bible studies for Christian Spirituality, study for a theory test, study for a psychology test, practice piano for a recital, attend classes and work, and try not to die. All of this in a week. Oh! And yesterday was my mother’s birthday, so she wants to go shopping today….I’m not exactly sure how that’s going to work out. I was trying to prioritize everything, and suddenly it occurred to me that I have to have most of this done by Tuesday (if not before).

            Speaking of psychology. You know how I have had the worst trouble staying on top of my reading in that class? Well, guess who has a test Tuesday! This girl. Guess who has read most of the chapters already! This girl! Bam. J It only took till the last week of the semester—but I’m getting the hang of this! ( …mostly I think I read the book because I was procrastinating with writing the bible studies…..o well. Flawed motives, I suppose, can still bring good results. Still, be proud of me!)

            And, speaking of the recital two paragraphs ago, the voice pedagogy students have voice students. That suddenly didn’t make sense in my head. Anyway, my brother has been giving voice lessons to my best friend, Morgan. Somehow—and I really don’t remember how—I ended up volunteering (and that word choice is debatable) to accompany her for the little pedagogy recital they’re having. It’s really actually not that bad. It’s an extremely easy song. However, I somehow also got roped into accompanying for another girl whose song is harder. After I got the music and began to practice, I just had one thought: What am I doing??? I don’t play piano!

            Why I added that to my grotesquely large plate of things to do this week, I’m not sure…

            If you’re starting college next year, here’s a little tip for you: Don’t take too much. College is a lot of fun because you get to pick what classes you want to take, and if you’re anything like me, it’s not hard to find 10 classes that sound wildly fascinating. However, although I have a friend who has consistently taken 18 or 21 hours every semester, 16 hours is a full enough load. Don’t slack off, but don’t try to be a super hero. You’ll want time to do well in all of your classes, not just pass a bunch. And, you’ll want time to make friends, go to events, and probably work too.  

            I guess next week I’ll write about my jury (if I get the extension) and about my experience at Southern in general….and probably about the teachers too.

            But, in a nutshell of this semester for now:

Woodwinds was fantastic. Clarinet was the best and saxophone was the hardest, but the day be burst into a 4-part round on saxophone was just like 

Ahhhhhh!! (*angels singing*)

Aural theory piano was really fun too. I learned a lot and can play figured bass pretty well!

Aural theory sight singing/ear training was less beneficial, but kind of fun at times. It got better after the ear training part online stopped working…hehe!

Choir was a learning experience for sure. We sang some cool music and I made some good friends! I’m not sure I’d take the class if I wasn’t required to, though.

Psychology was so entertaining. I learned a ton, and seemed to always be interesting too. I felt badly because it was always right after lunch, so I probably looked like I was half asleep, but it was definitely my favorite class.

Pilates is like death. But…death that tones your body and makes you taller and stronger. Haha. It was a really good class to take. Even if most of the time I didn’t feel like working out, and yes, it is a work out no matter how many people come up to me and say “so…you’re….taking a stretching class….??….” And yes, my posture did improve quite a bit.

Christian Spirituality was not at all what I expected it to be,  but it was extremely beneficial to my spiritual life. I definitely had a lot of “aha” moments. Yay for spiritual epiphanies!

Music Theory was a pretty cool class too! I’m slowly learning more and more. Once I have time to sit down and breathe, maybe I’ll get to apply it and write some cool music!

Voice Lessons were kind of intimidating, but always a highlight of my week. And, just so you know, you lip-trill down the promenade, people will look at you like you’re insane. (Lip trilling is like….ok. keep your lips closed and blow air between your lips so that they vibrate….and then sing a pitch while you do that. Then do scales. That’s a lip trill. It’s a really good warm up for stretching your range.)

So, over all, classes were awesome!

Macayla—Life is Like a Passaggio

            Life is like a passaggio.

            No, not a pistachio, a passagio. (And if you don’t know what that is, don’t feel bad. I just googled it.) If you sing, you’ve probably heard of the terms “chest voice” and “head voice” or lower and upper register. Music can be sung with strength in both the lower chest voice and the higher head voice. But, in between these two registers lies a tiny little devil called the passagio.

            When I was younger, I could read music really well. I’m pretty sure that’s a big reason I was pegged as an alto in elementary school and high school choir. The other significant reason was that at about a C5 (C above middle C) or a D5 on a good day, I would start to squeak and immediately stop singing. So, I sang alto for seven years in school. When I got to Southern, I started taking voice lessons from Dr. Julie Penner, who is a wonderful mentor and extremely talented singer. This is where I learned of the existence of passaggios. (Turns out, I hit mine at about a D.)

            Ok, ok, ok. So, what is this passaggio?

            For those of you who don’t want it technically, it’s like this: During my 6^th grade gymnastics unit in PE class, I stood on the top of a pyramid of my classmates, fists up in the air, legs straight, and an accomplish and enthused grin on my face.  Trusting my friends to catch me, I got ready to fall backward into their arms. Little did I know the conversation that was taking place several feet below me:

            “You catch her.”

            “No, YOU catch her.”

            “YOU catch her…”

            Needless to say, I was NOT caught….

            Here’s a more technical version: There are two sets of opposing muscles that stretch to change the pitch of a note. The cricothyroid muscle is responsible for the upper register, and the thyroarytenoid muscle is responsible for the lower register. They normally work well together, but during the transition from one register to the other, there are one or two notes where the muscles don’t quite cooperate. This hinders the smoothness of the sound. It’s like

            “I’m going to pull now. MY turn.”

            “No. I’m not done yet!”

            SQUOCK!

            And the note that sometimes results….weeeeeelll…….you get the point.

            So, it’s a singer’s goal in life to learn how to manipulate their cords well so as to glide straight through the passaggio so that the power and unity of the lower register is translated smoothly to the upper register or vice versa.

            Ok, so, do you get it yet???

            Originally, the world, humans, and life in general were all created in God’s perfect power and strength. The scale of life was going flawlessly until—BAM—we hit our passaggio: sin. Suddenly, the power and beauty of life was gone. Suddenly, the unity of fellowship was gone. Suddenly, joy in the beautiful gifts of God were replaced with discouragement, frustration, and overwhelming tension. Now we’re all born into this tainted life, and moving forward in it—let’s face it—can be awkward at best and sometimes seems down-right impossible.

            Luckily for us, the Voice Teacher of all voice teachers decided to leave the flawless harmony and richness of heaven to try to teach us tone-deaf humans how to sing—at the cost of His life.

            Woah, woah. Read that again. Think about that. What?! Wow. What a God!!

            God wants us to live an abundant life (John 10:10). To keep with the metaphor, He wants us to learn how to glide through our passaggio—this world tainted by sin. Our whole lives are supposed to be a song poured back out to God. (If you have time, look up “The Proof of Your Love” by For King & Country.)

            So, now this is my theory. Just like I have to listen to my voice teacher and work on the techniques she teaches me to be able to get a better sound, we have to look at the life of our Voice Teacher to see how He made life in this passagio an abundant one. Here are just a few examples that come to my mind (feel free to study it more on your own!):

He abandoned self-esteem, and instead recognized His self-worth in God.

            In Christian Spirituality class, we’ve been talking about how Jesus was neither saddened by people’s disapproval nor elated by their praise because He understood that human emotion is subject to change and that the human heart cannot be trusted. He only strove for the approval of the Father (John 2:24-25). He was humble; He was kind. He didn’t need people’s adoration. He didn’t need to puff Himself up or put others down. He didn’t need to fight to defend Himself.  But, at the same time, He didn’t walk around with His head down feeling badly all the time. This beautiful balance comes from recognizing the innate value we each have as children of the King of the Universe. Embrace the value you have in God’s eyes.

He lived a life of love

            This is pretty self-explanatory.  Jesus was all about loving people. Everything He did was in love. “Jesus did not suppress one word of truth, but He uttered it always in love. He exercised the greatest tact and thoughtful, kind attention in His relationships with people. He was never rude, never needlessly spoke a severe word, never gave needless pain to a sensitive soul…He spoke the truth, but always in love” (Steps to Christ, p.11,12). If we come to recognize that our value comes from God, we must also recognize that the man on the side of the road, that really obnoxious kid in class, the bully who has put you down all your life, the person you can never please… everyone… has value. We must love them as such. “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.” Luke 6:27-28

He lived a life of service

What better way to love people than to serve them?

            “As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.” 1 Peter 4:10

            “Even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:28           

            “For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love, serve one another.” Galatians 5:13

            “The greatest among you shall be your servant.” Matthew 23:11    

Spend daily time with God

            “Before daybreak the next morning, Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray. Mark 1:35”

            This is where I struggle the most, but this is the most important one. Why? Because it is impossible to die to self without the power God gives through daily communion with Him. It is impossible to find self-worth from God alone without spending time with Him. It is impossible to love people unconditionally without the infilling of His Holy Spirit. It is impossible to pour your whole life out as an offering of service unless you have His strength and His guidance. Choosing to cultivate a relationship with God every day is the most important thing of all.

            So, there are a few ways to live the abundant life or sing smoothly through the passaggio if you will. But, there’s one more correlation I want to point out. There is more after the passaggio.

=D

            In a 2 octave range, and some are wider, the passaggio only lasts for a few notes. (So, like 3 of 25 or more notes…. That’s not that bad.) And when someone bursts out of their passaggio, they can continue to soar higher with support and resonance.

            WELL GUESS WHAT GUYS!

            Soon—and very soon—God’s going to come with a shout and trumpets and a full-out party and busts us out of this passaggio. Then we’ll be able to soar far, far away and live with Him in perfect harmony forever. We’ll look back on the “scale of life” and be like “oh yeah. I remember there were a few awkward notes in the middle—but listen to me now!” Earth is just the smallest little bloop in the span of eternity. All the things that we think are so important here…all the things that stress us out and keep us up at night…they’ll be a hazy memory.

So, let me put one more song in here to leave you with:

To everyone who’s hurting
To those who’ve had enough
To all the undeserving
(That should cover all of us)

Please do not let go
I promise there is hope

Hold fast

Help is on the way

Hold fast

He’s come to save the day

What I’ve learned in my life is that

The one thing greater than my strife

Is His grasp.

So, hold fast.

Take courage, my friends. Especially when school is rushing to a close and life is going crazy. Study our Teacher. Learn to sing through the passaggio, but remember that there is a better life to come. 

Macayla—Psychology Scares

            Remember in my last blog how I likened the last month of school to rolling down a hill? It’s true. This week has absolutely flown by. This part of the year feels so gratifying. The other day I sat down (in a rather frenetic state) and listed out everything I have to accomplish for each class for the rest of the year. Some classes had a substantial amount of work, while several appeared to be wrapping up quite nicely. As the week progressed, I began to cross things off. (Ok, so I’ve only crossed two things off so far, but, you feel me right?) Gratification. Success. Accomplishment. J whoohoo!

            Don’t get me wrong. There are still a ton of things to do including two fairly substantial projects, two pretty big tests, and my jury. *shudders* And this semester, it’s a real jury, so I’ll let you know how that goes. O.o

            I had a psychology test yesterday. Somehow, they always seem to sneak up on me. I never feel prepared at all. And every time, I think to myself: next time I’ll keep on top of my reading and study periodically beforehand. And every time, I get to the next test and think to myself: oops. But I have one more test! I can still get the hang of this! Right?….yeah. Right.

            Speaking of psychology—I have had some major scares in that class!

            At the beginning of the semester, I went through all my syllabi and wrote down any major paper, test, project, or lab due date in my planner (that I look at every day or else lose my mind entirely). This way, I was sure to never miss a deadline.

            FALSE.

            At the end of a psychology class when I was gathering my books to leave, my teacher mentioned something, about a lab and a paper. The lab, I knew, was due the next class period, and we had just turned in a paper a few days prior, so with no reference to a paper due that week, I assumed she was talking about the last paper.

            FALSE.

            Still, I made a mental note to check when I got home. When I got home, I worked on various things and then remembered to get onto e-class and check on the paper. Once logged on, I found out that indeed, there was a paper due.

            That day.

            An hour before.

            See, in that class, we turn all our stuff in online. The teacher opens an assignment and then sets a deadline. After the deadline, you can no longer submit anything. (And her syllabus reads: “Late work is neither accepted nor acceptable.”

            So, I started having a mini panic attack.

            FALSE.

            I started freaking out… a lot.

            I flipped back and forth through my planner like a crazy person desperately trying to find the existence of this paper. “Mom! What do I do?! It’s closed! And It’s late! And my grade is going to drop! And And And……..” I blathered nonsensically.

            Finally, I figured it out. I just skipped writing that one. I had the 3^rd paper and the 5^th paper, and I had just missed on in the process of my apparently not-so-careful transference of assignments. Mom, a teacher herself, suggested that I go ahead and write the paper, explain what happened, and email it to her that night. On the off chance that she would take it, I did.

            Then I panicked for another day and a half after not receiving a reply. You know that saying, “No news is good news”?

            FALSE.

            No news is definitely much, much worse.

            I stayed after class the next time, fidgeting nervously until the other people who had stayed to talk to her left.

            “Have you gotten a chance to look at my email yet?” I asked.

            “Oh, yes! I forwarded it on to my reader. It will take a little longer to get graded since it wasn’t with the rest, but it will in your grades by next week.”

            I almost fell over with relief. “Ohmygoodnessthankyousomuch!” The words tumbled out of my mouth. “I was so afraid you wouldn’t accept it since that’s what it says in the syllabus.”

            “yeah,” she said “I have to put that in there or else people get really lazy. I work with you!”

Yeah. I think that experience was traumatic enough to be written about in one of the papers! (We write about things that happen and how they relate to psychology.)

            Then, yesterday before my test, I went back onto e-class and checked my grade. It had dropped to a 70-something. (Now you think I’m a terrible student. Rest assured, my grades are good, but this is common in that class. When a new assignment is opened, grades drop because it’s counted as a 0 until you submit the paper and a grade gets put in. It’s weird.) So, when I saw my grade was horrible, I didn’t think much of it until I looked for the assignment that must have just been opened and couldn’t find one. Then I saw that I had a 19% on one of my papers. That was definitely a cause for concern. (Especially since the lowest I had gotten on any previous paper was a 95%.) My writing quality doesn’t drop 76% in the matter of a few weeks….(ok, maybe the quality of a blog where I just ramble, but not on an academic paper!)

            So, after my test, I went up to her office to talk to her about it. She had marked some things wrong on my paper, but nothing that constituted an 81% failure.

            Slipping into her office, she looked up and smiled.

            “Hi! How was it?” she said in reference to the test.

            “eh…not so great.” I said while thinking to myself “Awesome. First you fail papers, then you fail tests….get your act together, Cayla!” 

            “…but I had a question…” I continued. “On one of my PPMs, I got a 19%…..”

            “Oh!” she laughed. “I just fixed that.”

            She explained that somehow it got entered wrong. (It was out of 20 points, and got put in out of 100 or something. So, my grade was 19/20, not 19/100.) She had also just figured out how to calculate the extra credit points into our grade (I didn’t know they weren’t already in, so I was pleased to find out I had 113% in her class.)

            That experience was less dramatic since I didn’t have much time to stew about it. Haha

*I now resume writing this blog two days later*

            I just wanted to quickly add that this weekend I Cantori (the select mixed choir) and the Wind Symphony had their spring concerts this weekend. Both were spectacular, and both brought me to tears. :’) Seriously. There are some pretty talented people here!! Directors and students alike. The choir will be touring in Scandinavia this summer (so, if you happen to be there, look them up!) And the Wind Symphony will be touring out west (California / Washington etc. I think. I forget where. So, if you’re out there, look into that too!)

            Happy New Week to you all!

Macayla—Easter

The rain falls gently outside. It’s very pretty. An eerie, pinkish sky glows around the edges of silhouetted trees—or at least it did. Now it’s dark. I took a walk with my best friend in the beauty and the rain. Bare feet padding through wet, muddy grass and splashing in small puddles, catching up on the nonsense of life, laughter echoing through the night….a picture almost worthy of a perfect summer evening. 
            Which—guess what guys!—is approaching rapidly! That’s hard to imagine. This year has absolutely flown by. The next four or five weeks are going to increase in speed, intensity, and stress. Remember being a kid and rolling down grassy hills? At first, rolling gently and then picking up speed in a rush until completely losing control and “hanging on” for dear life until the slope evened out and your body came to a stop, sprawled out in a heap in the valley? “Sprawled out in a heap” ….that doesn’t exactly make sense unless you’ve rolled down a hill like that before. Then you understand what I mean. Anyway, that’s what this last month of school is going to feel like.

            By the way, Happy Easter! I feel like Adventists don’t celebrate Easter as much as we should. Christmas gets lots of attention, but it’s mixed with fluffy commercialism, Christmas trees, reindeer, and snowmen. (Which are awesome, but not what we typically say Christmas is “all about”. You know what I mean? I feel like we celebrate two holidays on Christmas…) But I know at least I don’t comprehend Easter as much as I should. Well, maybe that gets mixed with colorful eggs and chocolate bunnies….hm. I don’t know what I’m saying, but this year I just kind of realized more what this holiday was actually about—the resurrection of Christ. What an amazing thing to celebrate!

            Here at Southern, the community puts on a Sonrise pageant. It’s a huge production that starts in the college church, winds all the way down the promenade through Southern’s campus, and ends in an epic explosion of awesomeness in the gym. (Really, when I say “explosion” I’m serious….) I’ve participated in various ways over the years—a “dancing girl” in Jerusalem when I was  little (girls get in little groups and sing little songs and hold hands and twirl around etc. while singing songs about the coming Messiah), a villager in one of the shops, just dressing up and walking around etc. Last year I actually had a speaking role at Salome, Mary’s friend, where I followed Jesus and the disciples around. It was a really intense experience, and I had to go from complete joy from being with Jesus to complete overwhelmed anguish as he was convicted to die, horror and sadness as He was killed, anger and tears at his burial, and back to exuberant joy at his resurrection. I cried to much throughout the day, by the end I couldn’t stop. O.o This year I opted for being an angel in the opening scene.

            The beginning scene has a song usually about the things in this world that are messed up but how we have hope in God. The church is completely dark, and the spotlight takes turns shining on stilled scenes of bad stuff in the world in general, but specifically things that have happened in the past year. This year it featured the batman shooting, Sandy Hook school, a sinkhole, a house fire, and various other things. Then, “angels” walk out holding candles (so basically all you can see are lights moving in the darkness) and join each scene on the stage taking a position of comfort or intervening in some way. Then as the spotlight makes another round of each situation, the angels remind us that God is still present in these horrible situations and is active in our lives.

            Then as the people exit, they walk through the field between the church and the elementary school which is turned into a “leper colony” with people begging and shouting “unclean!” There are also lots of cool animals like alpacas, sheep, horses etc. I think they had a camel once.

            The promenade becomes transformed as Jerusalem with shops on both sides as people try to sell swords, nets, herbs, bread, pottery etc. etc. Some people in the shops spin wool into yarn. Others weave, and some play instruments. The whole walk really seems to take you back to that era. Then, the crowd stops at various scenes like the last supper, the garden of Gethsemane, Pilate’s judgment, and the crucifixion. It’s really a powerful production. I’ve had the privilege of meeting some of the guys who play Jesus, and of course have seen over the years how they portray Him. It’s something that takes a complete filling of the Holy Spirit and lots of prayer, but I have seen it make such a huge impact on people.

            The whole thing ends in the gym with a burial and then an epic resurrection with exploding things, bright lights, and this epic choreographed battle between Satan and Gabriel that ends with a triumphant victory as Jesus bursts out of the tomb. At this point, the crowd is generally crying (at least I am) and starts cheering. It always just makes me realize again what an amazing victory that was! It’s something we should celebrate every day, not just on Easter.

            Then an angel shows up and gives the “why are you looking to the sky?” monologue ending with, “Go! Tell everyone about what you’ve seen!”

            It’s really quite powerful. And it was a huge blessing.

            So, I guess that’s what I’ll leave you with—Easter is over now, but dwell on it for a little while longer. Think of the amazing sacrifice and victory of Christ for me and you. He would have done it all just for you. So, go share it with someone this week! You know that “you had one job” meme? This is our one job. Let’s do it well!

Macayla—A Pasta Complex

Last Tuesday, something hit me. And whatever it was knocked me out hard. It was some kind of illness. I still don’t know what exactly. It started with a sore throat and progressed to three days out of school at home sleeping on the couch for most of the day. I’d wake up in the morning, walk to the living room, and crash on the couch from the exhaustion and exertion it took to make the 20 ft trek. I also had no apatite (which is not like me at all) So, after a Magnify concert this evening (which, by only a complete miracle of God, I was able to not only sing, but stand the entire time) I came home and was actually hungry. That is a good sign! So, my cousin (who used to live with us and came to visit this weekend) and I decided that macaroni and cheese sounded irresistibly yummy.

Macayla—ARME

            This has been a busy, busy weekend. There’s an organization called ARME that came to Southern and had meetings for a good chunk of the day Thursday—Sunday. I heard about it in an announcement at vespers a few weeks ago, and then someone added me on Facebook and invited me to the meetings. This is how phenomenal the meetings were:

            A 3 solid-hour sermon didn’t cause fidgetiness amongst the audience. Instead, we got more and more excited and involved with the sermon. (I would have gone back the next day to hear the same 3 hour sermon again. And again. And again. Seriously.)

            On another occasion, as the speaker just got going in delivering his message, he stopped speaking to us and began speaking to an unseen (To me) person in the back, “You did notjust tell me I have 10 minutes left…” he said. “I’m just getting going! …..10? oh man. Ok, guys. Here we go. 10 prophetic minutes….” And continued to preach for at least another hour much to our delight.

            At the last meeting today, a guy was speaking and started skipping through a lot of slides saying he didn’t have time to cover them. He wrapped up and concluded, but people looked at their watches and told him to keep preaching with the attitude of  “come on! It’s just a Sunday. Who has anything to do?? ((EVERYONE)) We have time!!”

These are young people, guys. What young people do you know that ask the pastor to keep preaching?

            Singing songs with these people was amazing too. There was a really spunky guy from ARME who lead the songs. It was always really simple—piano, viola, violin, flute on the most elaborate day. We sang hymns and their own little rendition of “I’m in the Lord’s ARME.” To hear a room of enthusiastic hymn-singing and to see the smiles on people’s faces was incredible. The leader reported after a song, “Guys. I think if an unbeliever had walked in the room and heard that song, they would have been converted just by that.” I had to agree.

            As we would huddle together and kneel in sincere, united prayer and somewhere in the room someone would raise their voice in song. As soon as the praise floated to the next person’s ears they joined the call, and soon the entire room was flooded with every voice in complete unity praising our God.

            Speaking of the prayer time, It was an huge blessing seeing my classmates so open and vulnerable as we knelt in united prayer. We followed a sort of pop-corn style prayer (Short prayers from whoever wanted to pray) first praising God for who He is, then confessing sins (personal and corporate), then presenting our requests, then thanking Him. Sometimes prayer would last a really long time. (I never actually looked at the clock, so I’m not sure how long, but the first time we prayed, I was on my knees so long that my right leg went numb from the middle of my shin down, and I couldn’t stand on it for a while after prayer. What an absolute blessing! That, my friends, should be a normal occurrence for Christians. Honestly, when was the last time you can remember spending any significant time in prayer let alone prayer on your knees with your face to the ground in sincerity? If you’re anything like me, it was probably not recently.

            So, I was absolutely blessed by this weekend and I wish more people had been able to go to it. But, I have a feeling that a lot is going to come out of it and Southern is going to start to change by the power and grace of God and the work of the Holy Spirit. Pray for us.

            In between these meetings, I was in and out and up and down (and happy all the time. ;) hehe) But seriously. I had to come to some meetings late or leave early since I already had things planned. I went with the outreach singing group to this old lady’s house and we sang for her. It was a really powerful experience. (I think singing with this outreach group is possibly one of my favorite things I’ve gotten to do at Southern.)

            Sunday I got up early to go down to Lee (another university) to sing the national anthem with Magnify for a pathfinder drill competition thing. It went pretty well, but we were all a bit surprised when the guy who ran our sound check asked “so, what’s the song you’re going to sing from your CD?”

            “uh…………..” we all looked frantically at each other. “You want one from our CD too?” So, that was a little last-minute, but it worked out.

            After we got back and after the last ARME meeting, I went to lunch with my friend Cassie. The weather these days has been just beautiful! Simply gorgeous! So, we enjoyed a little downtime hanging out outside and talking for a while until our friend Lani’s senior recital started. (I know that’s not correct grammar, but just go with it, ok?) She did a phenomenal job, by the way.

            But, I guess, by the time that was over, I just hit my max for the day and made the terrible mistake of sitting down on the couch which turned into a two hour nap…again. I haven’t blogged much about it I don’t think, but that’s been happening a lot lately it seems….I actually wonder if something’s wrong with me. I’m going to a doctor on Wednesday. I’m probably just deficient in lots of vitamins or something.

            And so, I’m about to be thrust into yet another week of school still unprepared. Gah, I feel like it never ends sometimes. I joke about this, but I really have half a mind to drop out of school and just learn how to study my bible. I really am just believing less and less that this world will last long enough for me to finish school and get a job anyway , and now I’m realizing what’s really important. *Sigh* O well……

Macayla—Spring Break

As you may know, we just had spring break. So, here are some awesome pictures I thought I would share:

Macayla—To and Fro

            Sometimes when the weather is nice, the sky is bright and open, and the sun is warm, I get really productive. I whiz around cleaning things, finishing assignments, studying extra for various subjects, and still manage to find time to gather some friends and go for a lazy walk or read a book. As the day progresses and I check off more and more things from my to-do list, I feel more and more energized.

            Today the weather is nice, the sky is bright and open, and the sun is warm, but today is definitely NOT one of those days.

            Today is the I’m-going-to-lay-out-in-the-sunshine-and-accomplish-nothing-while-feeling-bad-about-it-because-I-should-be-doing-stuff-eventhough-I-don’t-actually-have-that-much-stuff-to-do-which-makes-it-worse-because-if-I-just-applied-myself-for-a-few-solid-hours-I-could-be-done-and-then-I-wouldn’t-have-to-worry-about-anything-else-for-the-rest-of-the-day kind of day.

            It’s also the I-really-want-to-devour-an-entire-package-of-oreos day. Of course, I would never actually do that … *cough* … I ate a whole can of pringles once back in…shoot, I don’t know…6^th grade? Just to say I did. But that has nothing to do with anything.

            It’s also the accomplish-the-bear-minimum-to-survive-and-come-to-the-end-of-the-day-and-feel-like-you-actually-accomplished-nothing kind of day.

            There’s a piano recital tonight by a pianist who everyone says is top notch. She can actually get the piano in Ackerman to sound decent (which says a lot) and will be performing some really fun and interesting pieces. I should really go. Besides it probably being fantastic, I would get convo credit and concert credit….

…but it starts in 10 minutes….and I’m soooo laaaaaaaaazy!

            Do you ever have those lazy days? Those terrifyingly unproductive and apathetic days where someone could come up to you and say “if you color this picture of a giraffe, it will guarantee you an A+ in all of your classes for the rest of your academic experience” and you flop into a very comfortable recliner and mumble  “ehh….too many spots…”

            Please someone tell me it’s not just me….

            I found out spring break was coming up soon. It starts Friday! I had no idea spring break was coming. I was texting a friend about how I never see her and she said “right? We should get together before I leave.” And I was like “You’re leaving???????????” I had no idea what had happened, but something traumatic must have for her to up and leave in the middle of school. Then she told me about spring break. Ha! Wow, Cayla. Wow.

            So, I guess now I’m just really ready for nothingness. 4 more days! I got this…

            My lazy and apathetic condition reminds me of my (and probably your) spiritual life at times. Sometimes I pray that God will just shake me awake. I definitely feel like one of those sleepy Laodiceans and when I look around I see so much apathy disguised as spirituality it freaks me out. I went to vespers on Friday night. I normally don’t since I’m off campus and don’t have to get the credit, but a friend invited me. It was a really good compilation of mini video testimonies, special music’s, and a phenomenal talk by one of the psychology teachers. The whole evening was based around the theme “not a fan.” Basically, the point was that Jesus never asked for fans—He asked for followers. Fans know all the right answers and have a weird one-way relationship with a person. (Think of your favorite celebrity.) Followers are so much more. I guess there’s a book called “Not a Fan.” I’d like to read it.  

            On a possibly similar, possibly unrelated note, I was eating with my friend—the one who informed me of spring break—and laughing about the spring-break conversation I told you about, I told her “I had been meaning to call you all week, but I was running to and fro like a crazy woman…” when she interrupted me with an epiphany:

            “THAT’S what that Bible verse means!” She said. “Knowledge increases. Men run to and fro…It’s a prophetic description of college!”

            And we burst out laughing.

            So there you have it, dear readers, a little smattering of my mind just for you. 

Macayla—General Recital—the Conclusion (and other non-related things)

            I have been talking about general recital for weeks now, and now I can finally blog about it in past tense! Whoohoo! Neither my accompanist, Amy, nor I felt ready to perform. We got together Monday night to practice, but for the first several run-throughs couldn’t even get through the entire song without stopping it seemed. I was getting more and more nervous and was shocked by Amy’s calm positivity. We continued to practice, and I began to lip-trill instead of sing. Just then, a friend of mine walked by the room with a curious look on his face. Ok. I say “curious” but it was more like “what the heck is that weird noise??” as he looked into our room. (Lip trills are funny things, you know.) I laughed and opened the door to say hi. He asked about our song and asked when we were going to perform it. “Tomorrow night” I replied.

            “Tomorrow night?!?!?!” Amy gasped.

            Thus, as faces paled, I realized that I am the worst communicator EVER. In the whole WORLD.

            EVER.

            Yup. That’s me. The one who schedules a major performance without even cluing her accompanist in let alone asking to see if she’s available and not totally stressed out with other things. Aren’t I considerate? *facepalm*

            So, by the next evening I had pretty much resigned myself to a train wreck or a miracle of God. Luckily for us, it was the latter—and I don’t say that in sarcasm or jest. We both truly attribute the performance to God. The thing that’s hard for me to remember is that every performance—not just the ones when I feel totally helpless—is God’s. I’ve blogged about not being able to speak, but being able to sing etc. but I’m just now learning that I need to rely on God that much for everything—even when  it seems like I could do it on my own. (Which was definitely not last Tuesday, I’ve just been thinking about that recently.)

            So now General Recital is

Done

Over

Finished

Complete

Accomplished

Kaput

History

Gone

Ended

Concluded

Resolved …etc.

            (….well, for me anyway. There is one tonight, one tomorrow, and another one next week I think. )

            AND I’M SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!

            The rest of the week was filled with other singing. I sang in a sextet with my voice teacher, Dr. Penner, and four of her other voice students (Brittany, Cassy, Shayla, and Keryssa in case you care.) Those are the girls from the outreach group I’ve talked about before. It was a lot of fun singing with just them (not that the guys aren’t fun to sing with too—you gotta love ‘em. Really. You do. But we just had a lot of fun. J) We sang for first service at the college church yesterday. It was communion, so Cassy and I washed each other’s feet and prayed for eachother, and it was just a really, really neat experience.

            Later all the choirs sang for Evensong (vespers Sabbath night) in the church which was also really, really fun! This past weekend was parent’s weekend, so everyone and their mother was there—haha get it? Ok whatever.

            Amidst practicing with the sextet, quintet, trio (I sing I a trio occasionally and we led song service for a Sabbath school), and choir a sad irony emerged—so far since Tuesday, I’ve only gotten an hour of practice time. Now, don’t get me wrong—I practiced for 4 hours on Friday alone … just nothing I was working on for voice. L Which means I need to practice a lot between now and next Tuesday and I’m still not going to get anywhere near the hours I’m supposed to get each week. *sigh*

            One more thing I’ve been thinking a lot about: In my voice lesson last week, my teacher and I got talking about the Yiddish/African American concert we had at Southern last week. It was a total blast—the performers were fantastic, the music was excellent, and by the end, someone (I’m not sure if he was with the group that came or someone from SAU) got up and started taking people’s hands, pulling them out of their seats, and linking them together with other people as he started this HUGE line of people dancing around the gym. I can’t even describe it. It was SO fun and I’m pretty sure at least half the audience was out of their seats, holding complete stranger’s hands, and grape-vining around the gym while the performers clapped and sang onstage. I asked my teacher if she went and she said no. I went into a ramble about how goodit was and she stopped me and said, “really, Macayla? Was it really good? Did it uplift you and bring you closer to God? Think about it….”

            I thought about it. It was probably the most fun thing I did all week, but did it really uplift me? Well, yes I was laughing and smiling as I ran around the gym, but did it bring me closer to God? I had to say no.

            “I’ve noticed that the fun things are often the things that are the most distracting to me” Continued Dr. Penner. “because there’s nothing wrong with them.”

Hm. Just think about that for a while. I thought it was really profound. What am I doing with my life? What drives me every day? Things that are bad? Things of God? Or just things that encourage good mediocrity?

            Well, I guess that’s enough for this week.

            You know the drill—email me if you want: macaylar@southern.edu

Peace out!